I am really 12 years old

I apologize, but this is another post about bars.  Last time, though.  I will stop talking about them for at least a week.  I do eat other things, but this week has been particularly busy.  And also, this time, the review is a positive one!  How about that?  I found something I like, other than Z Bars.

Jamfrakas:

I know.  Like the Z Bar, this bar is designed for children.  I’m not sure what that says about me and my taste buds, but I really liked these.  I bought two – the Peanut Butter Blisscrisp, above, and the Chocolate Chip Cosmocrisp.  I don’t know what’s up with the names, so don’t ask.

Anyway, I opened the chocolate one first because I was dying to try it, and Chris and I both took a bite on the subway platform on the way home from the grocery store.  He didn’t like it, and I didn’t really either.  So I wrapped it back up and stuck it in the cabinet when we got home.  Later in the week, I found it and thought I’d give it another shot, and I liked it a lot for some reason.  Not sure what the difference was, maybe I was just in the mood.  I don’t even like Larabars, but  I like how this kind has the little crispies in it, so there’s more texture.  Also, it was really sweet.  I like sweet.

I actually enjoyed the remainder of the chocolate one so much that I immediately ate the peanut butter one above.  I don’t know which is better, but this one is good too.  Better, I would even say, than the peanut butter Larabar.  I know.  I am going to get hate comments for that one.

They have fruity kinds, too, and I’m not sure I’d go for that.  Not really a fruity person.  But I am all over the chocolate and peanut butter.  I think I saw a chocolate banana one, too.

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A review. Sort of.

Clearly, not a photograph taken by me

I would like to talk about this bar.  Can I talk about this bar?

This morning, on the way to the gym, I was hungry.  I’m usually hungry, pretty much at all times, but this morning I was the kind of hungry that would have impaired what was already sure to be an extremely weak effort on the treadmill.  So I stopped into a bodega and considered my options.  There were Z Bars, which we all know I love.  There were Larabars, and Balance bars, and Clif bars.  There were also Kashi Crunchy bars, which is what I would usually get (Chocolate Pretzel, seriously.  Amazing).  But I decided that today, I would branch out and purchase this bar, a Gnu Foods Chocolate Brownie Bar.

Since I know you probably didn’t click on that link, I am going to tell you how Gnu Foods has chosen to describe this bar:

Gnu Bars are wonderfully moist, chewy and delicious. Chocolate Brownie is rich with cocoa and yummy chocolate morsels.

Moist?

Absolutely not.  Cardboard, more like.

Chewy?

Okay.  Maybe chewy.  But not in a good way.  In a “oh my god, I don’t know if I can swallow this” way.  In fact, I only ate two bites.  And like I said, I was hungry.

Delicious?

I don’t think I need to comment.

Rich with cocoa?

Uh, no.  Not at all. I am actually personally offended that they named this after a brownie.

Yummy chocolate morsels?

Again, no.  I think they left these out of mine.

Do you get what I’m saying here?  Bad.  Really bad.  Worse, perhaps, than the Pure Protein bar I tried a few weeks ago.  Although, I would like to give Gnu props because as far as I noticed – granted, this was at 6am and it was dark outside – this bar did not have any warning messages about side effects involving a laxative effect.  So, you know.  That’s a plus.  It is also entirely natural, which is another plus.

Did I get a bad bar?  Are they all that bad?  Because some of these Brooklyn bodegas can be a little sketchy, I’ll admit.  The thing could’ve been hanging around for a while.   This is why I usually keep an emergency Z Bar in my gym bag.

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I don’t want to talk about it.

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The lesser chip

If you’ve read this blog more than a few times, you probably know how much I love Sun Chips.  I talk about them a lot.  I mean a LOT.

That linking took me forever.  I hope you appreciated it.

Anyway, my point is, I really like them, but Chris likes them more.  He will buy a bag on the weekend and it will be gone in about two days.  And then to rectify the situation – and life without Sun Chips is in fact a situation – he will go to the grocery store on his lunch break and buy another bag, as often as necessary, so that we always, always have them on hand.

It’s kind of a problem.  I mean, I know.  They have 18 grams of whole grains.  They are low in sodium.  They don’t have cholesterol or trans fats.  In fact, they have 30% less fat than potato chips. They can, apparently, make you a healthier you.

But let’s face it, really.  The things are basically glorified Doritos.  We were going through three bags of Doritos a week.

Not good.  So I had to put my foot down.  And Chris agreed with me, despite the fact that for two weeks, he continued to bring home “my good-bye bag, I promise.”  Finally, together we selected a replacement chip:

And it is a lesser chip, by any stretch of the imagination.  For starters, there is no cheese.  No cheese!  Like Sun Chips, they are low sodium, but let me tell you, with these guys, you can tell.

But that’s kind of the point.  This chip does not make me want to eat it.  It doesn’t whisper to me through the cabinet.  I truly can eat just one, and in most cases, I don’t even want that one.  I had a few with my sandwich today for lunch, and I actually put some back in the bag because I didn’t want them.  That never, never happened with Sun Chips.

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I don’t understand

I bought one of those Pure Protein bars from Trader Joe’s over the weekend because I’ve heard that they are really good and I wanted to try one.  I mean, Kate practically lived off them for two weeks, so I figured they must be really fantastic because I’m not even sure I could eat ice cream at every meal for two weeks straight, and I can put away some ice cream.

Anyway, what the hell?  That’s all I have to say, really.  Perhaps it’s because I didn’t eat it with the recommended “eight fluid ounces of water or other liquid,” but I thought this thing was gross.  Between the two of us, Chris and I could only eat about a quarter of it.  Sorry, Pure Protein.  But in your defense, I should have known I would be disappointed because I generally hate protein bars.  They all taste like metal to me.  I really think I can taste the vitamins and minerals or something.  Maybe I am sensitive, but I swear it’s like eating a piece of aluminum foil.

However, I do not think that I am being sensitive when I say that I don’t believe I should be eating a bar, tasty or not, that warns of “gastrointestinal discomfort” and a “laxative effect.”  I wish I’d seen that little gem before I took a bite.

Aside from that, I didn’t take many food pictures this weekend, but I did have this beautiful cupcake on Saturday:

Mine is the chocolate one, of course.  This was taken with my friend’s camera phone.  They were prettier in real life, because they weren’t blurry.

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Long post about small things

Thanks for all the lactose-related tips from the other day.  I know that I will probably be able to eat Sun Chips and butter and yogurt, but for some reason my doctor said not to until I go back in two weeks.  I’m serious.  I specifically asked about the Sun Chips.

In the comments of my last post, Heather mentioned that I should take a picture of my very small stove.  I don’t find it very interesting – mostly I find it annoying – and almost everyone I know in New York has one the same size, but I can imagine that it would be fun for someone who has a real stove to laugh at my easy bake oven.  It’s kind of like Roadside America. 

Roadside America definitely makes me laugh.  I am laughing right now.  I had no idea it had a website.  

Anyway.  I am getting sidetracked.  Here is my stove:

It’s hard to tell out of context, but you can’t realistically use more than two pans at the same time.  I mean, you could use four small sauce pans, I guess, if you angled the handles just right.  I don’t really count that as a perk, though, since I can’t envision a time when I’ll need to make four sauces at once. 

I tried to take a picture of my dark and scary broiler, but it was too dark and scary to show up. 

Along with my mini stove, we also have a mini fridge that looks like this:

Yes, that is Bo Jackson.

Here’s the inside:

Quite expansive, I know.

Really, though, I don’t mind my small kitchen and its small appliances.  It could be smaller for sure.  And I can turn on the stove from the couch.  Major perk.  If only I could reach the fridge, we’d really be in business.

Anyway, on to food.  Today I tried some soy yogurt:

Um.  Someone please tell me there’s a better kind.  Right?  There’s a better kind?  

I also made THE cookies from Betsy’s blog:

These are for Chris because he is turning 30 on Monday.  Yikes!  I’m glad I’m not that old.

I hope he thought that was funny.

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Moms do everything better

Tonight I tried to recreate this thing that my mom used to make all the time when I was little involving rice, tofu and mushrooms.  It didn’t work, but what I ended up with was okay, anyway:

It looks kind of risottoy, but that’s through no talent of my own.  I just over cooked the rice because I was talking on the phone when I did the measurements.  I can hardly figure out the measurements for rice when I’m giving it my full attention and I have a calculator in my hand, so doing it while on the phone was a bad idea.  Anyway, here’s the recipe I made up.  Watch that rice.

• 3/4 cup brown rice
• vegetable stock
• 8 to 9 cremini mushrooms
• 1 block tofu
• 1/4 onion
• 2 cloves garlic
• Couple sprigs of thyme
• 2 T soy sauce
• Salt, pepper

Cook the rice using the package directions, substituting stock for the water.  Cut the tofu into eight long slices, and then cut each slice into fourths.  Salt and pepper it and bake it in a 450 oven for 30 minutes or so, flipping halfway though.  Slice the mushrooms and chop the garlic/onion.  Cook the onion until soft, then add the rice, the garlic and the mushrooms.  When the mushrooms are cooked, add the tofu, thyme, soy sauce and more salt and pepper.

I think I realized halfway through the meal why it didn’t taste the same as I remembered it:

Damn those seasoning packets.

Anyway, earlier I had THE blueberry Z Bar:

Pretty good.  Better than other fruit bars that always taste fake.  It still tasted a little fake to me, though.  Maybe I’m sensitive.

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Just call me The Blogger

I had a rather uneventful weekend, which was exciting because things have been a little too eventful for me lately.  A few highlights:

Possibly the last ice cream of the season (outdoors, obviously…it’s always ice cream weather inside the walls of my apartment):

After he took this picture, Chris carried on for about an hour about how “artsy” he is, and how perfect the lighting looks.  I kind of think it looks like I have man hands.

Anyway.  So that’s exciting. But even more exciting, if you can believe it, is this:

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!  Food Network magazine!!  I have been waiting for this for nearly all of my 25 years.  My boss gave it to me on Friday and I almost kissed her.  I read the whole thing in about 15 minutes and now I know all the secrets of Iron Chef.  And I do mean all.  Although if anyone else has read this, please let me know because I would like to talk about how The Chairman forces everyone to call him The Chairman off the air, too.  I find that a little weird.

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Happy Halloween!

Love holidays.  They make titles so easy.

Here are the finished pumpkin seeds:

I don’t want to hear a word about how they look just like the raw pumpkin seeds, okay?  I don’t know why they didn’t get brown, but I can assure you that they are roasted and toasty.  And sweet and salty.  I have to give it up for the brown sugar and salt combo.

Have a fun holiday!

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Working for my food

I love pumpkin seeds.  I usually buy a bag from Trader Joe’s, but I haven’t seen them because I haven’t actually looked for them.  I’m forgetful.

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  Chris brought home a pumpkin tonight so I could make some seeds.  And of course we had to carve the pumpkin. We’ve had a little pumpkin carving rivalry ever since I stomped him in a contest in college.  I like to bring it up rather frequently, but tonight I was very gracious about my landslide win.

The ingredients:

Seriously.  Nothing goes better with a knife than a little alcohol.

The finished product:

Scary.

Don’t mind that little weird carving on his chin.  We were trying to make a nice ‘stache for the little guy, and that was supposed to be his mouth, but it didn’t work out.  Obviously.  That’s why he’s frowning now.

Anyway, back to the point – the pumpkin seeds.

Rinsing off the slime:

Sprinkled with salt and a little brown sugar:

I’ve never used brown sugar on them before, mostly because I haven’t actually made pumpkin seeds since I was about eight years old, but I thought a  nice little sweet and salty mix would be nice.  They are currently in the oven, so I can’t tell you if I was right, but I’ll report back tomorrow!

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