I was recently contacted by a lovely woman at Yummr. Never heard of it? I hadn’t either, but according to the website, it’s a “community of folks who are passionate about good food and drink and enjoy sharing their obsession and connecting with others.”
Being that I’m passionate about food – and most certainly drink – I thought the site was pretty cool. Kind of like a MySpace, but about food. Or a Facebook, I guess. You get the idea.
Anyway, the point is, they, along with Houghton-Mifflin Books, offered to give me a cookbook for a reader as part of their Hot July Foodie Reads Giveaway.
I don’t know about you, but I am pretty much down with any and all free things. So, I’m going to give one of you a cookbook! There were a couple choices, but I decided on Fish Without a Doubt because:
1) I like fish
2) A lot of people are intimidated by cooking fish
3) It was the only one I recognized
Lucky for you guys, they’re sending it to the winner directly. Otherwise it may have gotten lost in the mail. As in, I would have kept it for myself.
So here’s the deal – I am going to West Virginia for the weekend, where I will be getting all dolled up in this absolutely fab David’s Bridal dress, eating lots of cake, and doing the electric slide. While I’m gone, I would like you to leave me a comment on this post telling me about you and food. That’s it. It can be about the time you got sick from bad shrimp, or when you shot corn out of your nose in the school cafeteria, or the the first time you made something awesome without following a recipe. You can even just tell me your favorite food although you won’t win with crap like that. Then I’ll pick a winner.
Get to it!
I WAS JUST IN WEST VIRGINIA!!! Which part are you going to??
VG –
I’m from WV. The wedding I’m going to is near Morgantown.
I will tell a very appropriate story about me and fish! Or actually, seafood, but that’s close enough. Two summers ago I went to Long Beach Island with some friends for the weekend. I got a super yummy pasta and scallops entree at dinner, and had the leftovers wrapped up so I could take it home. That night we went out drinking and when I returned home at 3 or 4 or whenever it was, I could think of nothing better than to eat my leftovers as drunk munchies. When I had had enough, I went to bed, and promptly woke up an hour later to vomit. I learned the hard way that scallops are not a good substitute for pizza when wasted. I was queasy for 2 days and haven’t eaten scallops since. One day I’ll try them again. Sober. On the bright side, I called out sick from work that Monday due to “food poisoning from bad seafood” so that, to me, is a win. Because work sucks.
After Christmas Eve dinner with the family my freshman year of college, I started to not feel so well on my drive home so when we got back, I crawled into bed and tried to sleep. I couldn’t fall asleep and couldn’t figure out why (when I’m sick I usually have no problem sleeping). I decided to get up and the minute I moved my head, I knew I’d be sick. I ran to the bathroom and barely made it. We had broccoli that night. The miraculous thing is that despite the fact that mot of it came back out my nose, I still eat broccoli to this day. All in the name of healthy eating.
I would tell a witty story of making mashed potato stuffed meatloaf for my parents aniversary (where they later split because my dad was cheating anyway). I didn’t eat meat at the time and still don’t. Have never tasted the meatloaf, but ahve been told by many that it is fantastic. Glad they like it.
But I don’t eat alot of fish, only shelled kinds. Due to a bad food-poisoning experience (not drunk) as well. Fillets don’t agree with me (I eat one-two bites and I’m praying to the porcelian goddess). Have fun at the wedding!!!
Okay! I shall return with a tale of food that will make you pee your pants it’s so good.
Someone in your household needs to let me win something. For seriously.
Do I get to enter?
One night I was alone in my apartment and had a few too many glasses from the box-o-wine. I popped myself a bag of popcorn and decided it would be so delicious if I dunked the popcorn into ketchup before eating it. It was probably the most horrific thing I’ve ever tasted in my life, especially paired with pink wine. Regardless, I kept dunking and eating until I finished the whole bag. Why?
Ever since I was little, I was in the kitchen. As a baby, I would cry when the commercials came on the tv, while Julia Child was cooking. (My parents thought it was a riot, and videotaped such torment. Cruel people. 😉 )
Anyways, my poor parents surely got their payback. For about three years straight, EVERY NIGHT FOR DINNER, I’d make a very beautiful side dish of sauteed onions, peppers, mushrooms, and like 50 cloves of garlic because I wanted to be the next Rachael Ray 🙂 They totally ate it all, along with the (“2 times” —er, “12 times”… I couldn’t remember… Around the pan) little soup of olive oil 🙂 SO sweet. They were always so passionate and giving and supportive of my little foodie endeavors. My mom would wait until we were both free to go to Whole Foods so I could just stare in awe at all of the BEAUTIFUL mushrooms, onions, peppers, and garlic 😉 Haha, thank goodness today I cook more than olive oil, mushrooms, onions, peppers, and garlic! We’d smell pretty bad (still) if I was still on that kick. Anyways, I’m so thankful that they just let me do it all… It’s like one of those little things that just rings in my mind as something that made my childhood such a wonderful memory. I was never as happy as when I was in that kitchen 🙂
Thanks for helping me to remember such fond memories today! This made my day 🙂
Once, I was innocently eating Halloween candy, and a piece of candy corn broke off and got lodged in my sinus cavity. It was only there for a day or two, but I still smell candy corn when I breathe deeply through my nose. It makes yoga a little weird.
I also really like fish. But that’s not part of my story.
I can’t cook! At All! That’s why I’ve mastered the art of preparing Rice-O-Roni!
Hi Arielle – I’ve been reading your blog but have never commented until now. (Just wanted to say I really enjoy it and want to add it to my blogroll if you don’t mind 🙂
My story about food:
Every year for my birthday, someone always ends up buying me a cantaloupe. One birthday (my 17th to be exact) I received seven cantaloupes from friends. Ironically, I always forget to cut them. (Is this a sign?… or just laziness?)
So. This may or may not gross out all parties but i have to share because it involves food and myself.
So one day not so long ago, i was particularly hungover at work (this does not happen often as my office is not a particularly pleasent place to be hungover…screaming kids… you get the idea) and i was suprisingly sticking to my healthy regimin(sp) when ususally with a hangover i dive face first into a huge plate of buiscuts and gravy. So i brought some cottage cheese and fruit for brekkie. Well i gorged myself on the cottage cheese, and not too long after i new i was going to be sick. So i make haste to the ladies room and puke cottage cheese through my nose like it was no bodys business, and for the remainder of the day blew curds out through my nose. (really.) It was the worst thing that ever had happend to me. I proceded to call the Doc’s office because i was SURE i was going to get some sort of infection from all the dairy in my sinus’s. (which every time i breathed, i smelled puke/dairy and had to run to the bathroom again. (sorry.. told you this would gross everyone out) but thats my story involving me and food. The moral? Buiscuts and gravy for life.
When I was in college, I made friends with this guy from India. He’s super cool. One morning, he invited me over for breakfast. I was really excited … you know, all, “Ohh, what Indian food is he going to make for me?” He made ramen noodles with ketchup and peas. And curry. I was so grossed out that I didn’t want to eat it. But I did. And you know what? It was actually pretty good.
Another time in college, I had to go to a fancy luncheon with some of my professors. I got stuck sitting next to the weirdest professor in the department — the one who wore his bike helmet during class and carried the exams around under his shirt (closer to his heart, he’d say). He literally sprayed and spit half of his chewed-up dinner onto my plate. When he noticed I wasn’t eating, he said, “What is the matter, Carrie? Do you think you are fat or something?”
He he. Stuff like that always happens to me.
I’m a long time reader and what better a time to “delurk” then for a free giveaway? Here’s my two cents…Every year since my three sisters and I were little my mom made “Heath Bar Cake” for our birthdays. The “Heath bar” cake is seriously so good, almost better than sex…
Well, it wasn’t until we became teenagers that the censorship and lies stopped and heath bar cake’s true identity was revealed. Turns out the cake is really called “Better Than Sex Cake” in recipe land but mom couldn’t tell her three year old that the cake she was eating was seriously better than sex!
Here’s the recipe:
-Bake a box of chocolate cake
-When the cake comes out of the oven punctured it with a fork, creating holes.
-Dump an entire jar of carmel sauce and two cans of sweet n’ condenced milk all over the cake
-Let the sauce soak through the cake in the fridge for a couple hours.
-Before serving top Cool Whip and crushed up Heath Bar candy pieces.
-Enjoy, decide if it really is “Better than Sex”
I used to be so bad (/lazy) at cooking when I was in high school that I would make those microwave french fries that came frozen in little boxes with individual slots for each fry. Once, when my parents and brother were off somewhere, I decided to microwave some of the fries and a hot dog at the same time for dinner. However… instead of hitting 3 minutes or whatever I accidentally hit 30. I went upstairs while it was cooking, and as you can probably guess, started smelling smoke… at which point I came back down to find the box of fries in flames and the hot dog exploded in a lovely pattern throughout the microwave. When my family got home I was sitting on the front steps with all the doors and windows open, trying to act all casual. I think the smoky air wafting out of the house might have tipped them off.
I think about food a lot.
I think about it when I’m driving. I think about it when I’m sleeping. I think about it when I’m eating and I wonder what I will eat next.
When I’m having sex I think about what I will have as a post coital snack.
You could say I’m obsessed with food and with eating food but that would be an understatement.
I am food and food is me.
We are one.
Without food I would die.
when i first started my publishing career, i was invited to a very important lunch. it was at a big fancy seafood restaurant. the lunch party included moi, my boss and a big name pr queen from a publishing house. the queen recommended crabcakes – house special. i’m allergic to crabs, the severity varies. the pr queen and my boss ordered the special. remember, this was my first out of college job and i couldn’t afford to be “different.” so i ordered it as well. to make the story short…the severity wasn’t death. i did develop rashes. when we got back to our office, i told my boss about my ‘distaste’ for crabs and she thought it was funny, it seems she hates crabs.
Okay, I was saving this story for one of my posts but I thought this would be a good time to share my ultimate diet story. The summer after my sophomore year of college my roommate and I went to England for the summer. We had a great time but while I was there her grandparents told me about this “diet” they had done before and being me I though..”ohh we are going to be wearing bathing suits this summer….. I should try it”. The diet boasted that you could lose 10 pounds in 3 days and that it was recommended by the UK Association of blah blah blah (I can’t remember but it was something that sounded legit and medical like) Granted, I didn’t need to lost 10 pounds in 3 days but I basically liked all the foods and thought it would be easy especially because every evening you got to eat icecream! Here’s the stupid diet: (i looked it up and found it online)
Day 1:
Breakfast: Black coffee or tea, ½ grapefruit, 1 slice toast, 2tbs. Peanut butter.
Lunch: ½ cup tuna, 1 slice toast, coffee or tea.
Dinner: 7 slices any type of meat (about 3 ozs). 1 cup of string beans, 1-cup beets, 1sml apple, 1 cup of vanilla ice cream.
Day 2:
Breakfast: 1 egg, ½ banana, 1 slice toast, black coffee or tea.
Lunch: 1-cup cottage cheese, 3 saltine crackers.
Dinner: 2 hot dog, 1 cup of broccoli, ½ cup carrots, 1 cup of vanilla ice cream.
Day 3:
Breakfast: 3 saltine crackers, 1 slice cheddar cheese, 1 sml apple, black coffee or tea.
Lunch: 1 hard boil egg, 1 slice toast.
Dinner: 1 cup tuna, 1 beet, 1cup cauliflower, ½ cantaloupe, ½ cup vanilla ice cream.
**You can not vary or substitute any of the above foods. Salt and pepper may be used, no other seasonings, where no quantity is given; there’s no restriction, other than common sense. This diet is to be used 3 days at a time.
So on with my story, I went to the grocery store, bought all the things on the list and started the diet the next morning. My friend thought I was insane and wouldn’t do the it with me because she hates the smell of tuna and eggs and about everything else on the diet besides icecream. Now I realize, she is very smart. Day 1 went fine. I ate the food listed and wasn’t hungry at any point during the day. Day 2 is when things started getting a little crazy. First off lunch and dinner kind of sucked – cottage cheese and saltine crackers and then hot dogs… I think that may have been the last time I ate a hot dog. That evening I was on the phone with Isaac. I started to get a stomach rumbling feeling and my face started to sweat like I was going to trow up and I knew I “had to go”. Isaac was telling me some story and I yelled in the phone I have to go, I have to go, and hung up the phone and I booked it to the bathroom. I basically had diarrhea that whole night and couldn’t go beyond 5 feet of the bathroom because I had to go again every 10 minutes. Then my butt was sore from all the bathroom visits. It was an awful, awful experience. My friend thought it was the funniest thing she had ever heard off and wouldn’t stop laughing every time I got up during the movie we were watching to go back to the loo (you know the toilet…I was in England) Needless to say I used a whole roll of toilet paper in one night and then decided it was in my best interest to stop the diet. I told her grandparents the diet they had given me was the diet from hell, apparently it worked for her grandfather…. (I don’t know, he must have the stomach of a champion) I did lose 5 pounds in one day, most likely because it created an explosion in my stomach. I gained it back within a few days as well. So that is my dieting story, which has stopped me from trying all those crazy diets out there. And this is also a warning to you all- Never, EVER, try this diet.
“A lot of people are intimidated by cooking fish”
I just don’t like fish. I think it has to do with the fact that in order to cook fish well you need to make it not taste like fish. You don’t have that kind of problem with chicken. 😉
Oh I have another story! One time I was trying to make tofu fries from Martha Stewart (why? I don’t know) and I preheated the broiler. Then my cats started hissing and running into the basement, and the oven started smoking. I couldn’t figure out why, so I called my dad and he decided that something was burning off the bottom of the oven. I opened it up to look, and there was a day old pizza box in there. When I opened the door, it totally burst into flames. I started screaming and my dad started yelling on the other end of the phone, and I grabbed an oven mit and ripped it out of the oven and threw it on the kitchen floor, totally on fire. Still screaming, I dropped the phone and started pouring little handfulls of water on it from the sink until it went out. There are still burn marks all over our lenolium.
My story is about the year I lived with my sister and gained 10 pounds…or somewhere around there. We were a very bad influence on each other. Our favoritest thing in the world is “Nuts and Bolts” or as normal people call it “Chex Mix.” We liked to put twice as much butter in as the recipe called for because my sister has hyperthyroidism and can eat 2 pounds of butter in a day and still lose weight and she’s bossy so I can’t say no to her. While eating more chex mix than any human should ever eat we were trying to teach her one year old son sign language and we discovered a foolproof method. Just give the one year old a pretzel that is drenched in butter and don’t give them another one until they sigh, “More, please. I love you Mommy” Works every time. We also taught him to roll over with bottles of rum, but that’s a story for another time.
my sister was hand feeding me gummy worms once because she thought it was funny (why would i object?), and in my ecstasy i had my eyes closed, just chewing, mmming, and opening my mouth for the next one. well after a few she put a caterpillar in my mouth. i chewed, i remarked that that one tasted “different”, swallowed, and opened my mouth for the next one. she routinely brings this up when we discuss bad food memories.
My story is that I just don’t really like cake all that much. For my birthday one year I had my Mom make me brownies instead of a cake. Or I will eat cheesecake on my birthday. Or a fruit tart. Just not cake 🙂
Uh, WV weddings are the best. I attended the Fairmont, WV wedding of one of my college roommates and the night ended with us playing washoes in her garage… with the bride… still in her wedding gown. So have fun!
Your blog is hilarious, by the way. I’m so glad I found it!
Cool…um something about food…tonight we had baked pasta with yellow bell pepper and turkey sausage.
When I was little (okay so 13), I attempted to flip a grilled cheese sandwich with the oven mitts that I was wearing..annd considered it completely normal until my family membs came into the room mid-flip, witnessed my methods, and set me straight (with their hysterical laughter)..
MMmm fishhhhhhhh. The electric slide sounds pretty fun too.
My parents are from Morgantown! I’ve spent lots of quality time there.
My story isn’t about eating food per se, but it is a family classic… I have two older sisters. When I was about 7, my oldest sister told my other sister and I that she heard avocado was good for your hair. So she convinced my middle sister to let her put avocado in her hair. Except that we only had guacamole in the house. Same thing, right?
Never ones to pass up a free beauty product, we went ahead and slathered the guacamole all over her hair. We let it sit for a few minutes and then rinsed it out. Except there were chunks of onion and tomatoes in the guac that we couldn’t get out of her hair for days…
Today, I went on one of my favorite local walks, up to the top of Bernal Heights, an urban park in the middle of San Francisco. Coming down the hill while I was walking up were not only the gazillion adorable dogs (and their sometimes-adorable-owners, like the little old man with the two beagles, one old and grey-haired, one young and adorable … but I digress) that are always up there, but two (straight) young men with large bowls FILLED WITH BLACKBERRIES that they had picked. In a park. In the middle of what is supposed to be a major city. I said “Wow! That’s like $50 worth of blackberries!” and one of them said “or enough for three pies.” It was one of my favorite random urban exchanges ever, and the whole shebang is being added to my list of things that make the Quality of Life better in San Francisco than in just about any other place I’ve spent significant periods of time. Oh – and, of course, I spent a few minutes picking and eating blackberries before continuing up the hill.
Hey! That is so cool that they picked you to give away the cookbook! How fun! Hope the wedding was a lot of fun! Now onto my cookbook desires 🙂 I love cooking (duh this is why I have a food related blog) but with seafood, fish in particular, I’m very hesitant. I know that fish is so good for you, but I guess I just have never made the effort to find good ways to prepare it. My husband loves fish and would probably be very happy if I started making more of an effort to make it! I mean just how much chicken can one person eat? I’m probably getting close to exhausting my chicken options- I need fish help!
umm when I was like 9 years old and eating from a raw vegetable plate at a sleepover party (what kids party has a raw veggie plate?!), a piece of cauliflower got lodged in the back of my tonsils. I thought they just felt swollen ag the time. My mom and I didn’t realize it for about two days- rancid. To this day, I cannot eat crudites.
The most amazing food experience I’ve ever had was eating a Birthday Cake Remix ice cream at Coldstone in Hawaii with my dad on my birthday when I turned 14. It was my first time ever at Coldstone and I had never tasted something soooooo delicious. Every bite was heaven. It’s been a tradition since then to eat Coldstone’s Birthday Cake Remix on my birthday (although, sadly, not always in Hawaii).
Hi there, I just discovered your blog … I love it!!! You’re SOO FUNNY!! Seriously, I love your humor … :0D
I swear I wasn’t commenting to get the cookbook but my most memorable food experience would be … ummm … i.don’t.know… so you can exclude me from this draw 🙂
Have a great trip my funny ‘friend’!!
I know it’s late, but I still want to share for fun!
I was about 5 and it was Halloween night. I was super excited to go out trick-or-treating to get lots of YUMMY candy (pb cups, snickers, twix….drool!)
Anyways, we were having fish for dinner, and when I was 5 I HATED fish. My dad told me, “You can’t got trick-or treating until you finish ALL the fish on your plate.” WHAT?!?!?! NO trick-or treating?!?!?! So, I shoved it in my mouth and off we went. HOURS later, we ended the venture at my grandmas house. At this point, we had been out for probably 2-3 hours and I started crying. My mom asked, “What’s wrong?” I looked at her and through tears said, “Mom, can I spit out my fish now?”
[…] – and thank you for all the comments for the cookbook contest!! I haven’t had a chance to really read them all, but I will today and I’ll pick a […]
This was such a neat giveaway idea for the book! I love reading all these funny foodie stories. When I think about a not-so funny foodie story I think about my stomach virus stories (I get them at least once a year starting 4 years ago… not cool).
I now have this love/hate relationship with red wine and Indian food. Especially curries that have some sort of dairy in it. I won’t get into details but you can imagine.