Add hummus to the list of foods that lie to me

Seriously, did I eat eight servings in two days?

Apparently, according to Yorgo’s.

But I couldn’t help it.  This stuff is so good.  And healthy.  Especially when eaten in mass quantities with my cucumbers.

Anyway, I ate the last of it while I was waiting for my fake bacon to cook for my BLT sandwich that I had for dinner.  I didn’t take a picture of it because we’ve all seen sandwiches before, although maybe I should have because this was a particularly good one.  I managed to squeeze half an avocado on that bad boy.  It was pretty amazing.

Then I had a teeny tiny bowl of ice cream with some chocolate chips on top:

It really was tiny this time.  Like two tablespoons or something.  Of course, I thought I was eating two tablespoons of hummus at a time too, so who the hell knows.

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Life changing

See that?  It is the best hummus I’ve ever had.  I might have to go work for Yorgo’s.  I love them.  They also have amazing Tabbouli.  I can only imagine that everything else they make is incredible as well, but so far I have only had these two products.

The only problem is that Yorgo’s calls this vegetable hummus, but there are no vegetables in the ingredient list.  Unless you count parsley.  I kind of don’t.  But for hummus this good, I’m willing to bring my own vegetables:

Seriously, I’m not getting paid or anything, but it’s really good.  I would, however, be willing to be paid to eat it and talk about it endlessly, if Yorgo’s wanted to make me an offer.

I also had some grapes because I am scared for the hummus to be over so I don’t want to eat too much at once.

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It’s officially summer

We have these neighbors a few doors down, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned them before.  They are the kind of people who leave gaudy Christmas decorations up year-round.  I’m pretty sure there are also no less than 42 people living in their house, and sometimes, in the summer, they bring their television outside on the porch.  They’ve also been known to pitch a tent on the sidewalk, but that’s a whole separate post.

In any case, today is the first nice day we’ve had in a while, and they decided to celebrate with a little breakfast barbecue.  That’s right.  This morning, when I went to the gym at 7:30, they had the grill fired up.

Well, we all know I love a good barbecue, so I decided, screw the gym.  I’m having a hot dog.

Don’t judge me.  It’s a holiday weekend.

No.  I didn’t.  I went to the gym.  But the whole way there, I thought about hot dogs, and pasta salad, and dirt cake, and other barbecue foods that just aren’t the same when eaten inside.

Cucumbers and hummus are okay, though.  That’s what I had for a snack this afternoon:

And now I’m going to start my holiday weekend.  Possibly by tracking down some ice cream.  We’ll see what happens.

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The damage is done

First thing’s first:  I forgot that I also had some more kale with my leftovers for lunch.  I didn’t even burn it today:

Okay, then for a snack, I started with carrots and hummus:

But after a couple of bites, I decided to stop lying to myself and I had a cookie:

These are totally snackable.  I don’t feel like I had a cookie for my snack.  I feel like I had flax, and oats, and raisins, and whole wheat flour, and also sugar, and oil, and maple syrup, and okay, fine, I’m hungry again and I probably shouldn’t have had a cookie, but it’s too late, okay?

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My hummus budget is out of control.

So the other night I had this dream that Chris asked his boss for a raise and she said she’d consider it, but first she had to look in our fridge to see what kind of food we could afford.  So she comes over and she’s like going through our vegetable drawer and all our shelves, and she pulls out a container of hummus and she’s like, “Hummus?  Hummus is expensive!  I’m not sure you need a raise if you can afford hummus.”

How random is that?  So today I ate said hummus for a snack before lunch, and all I could think of was the hundreds of dollars I’ve spent on pureed chickpeas over the years.  I mean, possibly even thousands.  I’m kind of a big fan.

Hummus is kind of expensive.  I’m reconsidering my grocery list.

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Bizarre evening

Last night I went to a party at a gym.  It was one of those swanky gyms that you imagine only celebrities use, the kind where you have to work out with a trainer.  All the machines were super high tech and, really, quite intimidating.  One looked like a space shuttle.  Also, most of the people there had lots of muscles and wore very small clothing.

I have no idea what we were celebrating, but my friend knew the owner and there was an open bar and a disco ball, so I was, of course, on board.  There was also a ton of food there, and let me tell you something – if there was always a dessert buffet next to the leg press, I’d be much more excited to go to the gym every morning.  You have not lived until you’ve eaten a brownie while standing next to a treadmill.

All in all, it was a disaster eating-wise.  There was shrimp cocktail, which we hovered, and I do mean hovered, over for most of the night,  the most amazing asparagus ever (I ate maybe twenty stalks, seriously, and I think they were each drenched in a tablespoon of butter), little mini cups of macaroni and cheese (I had half of one), mini crab cakes (countless), sushi (a spicy tuna roll), brownies (probably one and a half), strawberries (lots), cake (about a piece), and vodka sodas (way, way too many).

Then, when we left, they gave us sugar cookies and leftover cake.  I have no idea why a gym was giving out so much garbage, especially to people who so clearly could not afford a membership.  The four of us actually spent about ten minutes contemplating going to Duane Reade, buying some tupperware, and filling it with shrimp for later.  But since we’d all already eaten more than our share of the food, we decided to instead hand out cookies and cake to the homeless at two o’clock in the morning.  Have I mentioned that I’m a do-gooder?

Pre-party, I had some tortilla chips and hummus at home:

I didn’t eat all of that hummus; maybe three – four tablespoons.

I have some more stuff for today, but need to clean my apartment so I’ll post all later.

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Desperate times…

I offered Chris the last Skinny Cow bar after dinner tonight because I ate the rest am selfless.  Then, I rummaged around in the back of the freezer, eyes closed, a prayer on my lips, and unearthed this:

Which I then ate.  I don’t even want to know what they put in these to make them all gummy and gross, but that’s what they are. I am sure the fact that this bar has been in our freezer for months and was covered in a nice layer of burn was a contributor to its lovely taste and texture as well.

Anyway, rewinding to dinner, we had eggplant and FLAX parmesan, spinach, and a little focaccia that I picked up at the store earlier.  I went in for a banana.  I don’t know how this happens to me, but I’m glad it did, because garlic bread makes me happy.

There is cheese under that sauce, don’t you worry.  I make a lazy version – the recipe is here.  Don’t forget to add flax to the bread crumbs!

Earlier, before dinner, I had some hummus and crackers:

And that’s that.  I’m going away for the weekend starting tomorrow, back on Sunday night.

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Flighty

I am totally losing it today.  I didn’t mention it, but that coffee I posted earlier?  That was the second cup I made.  I poured water in the first one instead of milk, so I had to throw it out.

This was after I set off the smoke detector like five times while trying to cook my Morningstar links.   They were burnt to a crisp, it’s true, but I swear it wasn’t smoky in the apartment.  Jack didn’t think so either.  That thing is sensitive as hell.

Then, I forgot I scheduled a pick up with Fed Ex (my life is very interesting, I know) and so the poor guy came and I didn’t have my envelope ready.  So he had to wait while I searched through our closet, which is stuffed to the max with two air conditioners, dog stuff, boxes of books, like three hockey sticks, a touch lamp (don’t ask) and finally, way in the back, my mailing supplies.   It took me like ten minutes to get it all together.  He was really nice about it, but I felt like an ass.

Anyway, after the Fed Ex guy left, I had some carrots, hummus, and crackers:

And also a fig. Or four.  Oops.

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Late night

Sorry I was absent last night, I didn’t get home until 11:30 and I needed to go to bed!

Yesterday afternoon I had some carrots and hummus:

And then I was still hungry so I dug into the new container of figs I got from Trader Joe’s.  These are so much better than the ones from the bulk bin.  I may need to stop buying them though because I have no self control.

And then last night I had to order delivery because I started watching the kid at six and as it turns out, you’re not supposed to leave them unattended to go get your dinner.  I ordered falafel from this place called chickpea, and it came with rice, pita, hummus, and a gross salad:

It looks like a TV dinner, which makes sense because that’s what it tasted like.  Except for the hummus, which was on point!

As for today, I just spent the last twenty minutes fighting with the worst cable company in America and finally finagled us a month of free Showtime for all of my trouble.  I have no idea what’s on Showtime, but I guess we’ll find out!

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Long afternoon

I came home from my meeting to a million emails, which always sucks. Luckily, I changed my mind and had lunch before I left, because I was hungry for some reason. So around four I took a break and had some hummus and carrots:

I ran out of figs, but the obsession continues, so I stopped by our grocery store and bought some. I couldn’t decide between mission and Turkish – anyone know what the difference is? The ones I had before were mission. I stuck with tradition, but these aren’t as good as the others – they are almost too dry. Think it’s cause I got them from the bulk bin. The ones from Trader Joe’s were sealed up in a plastic container.

Anyway, I’ll still eat them. Possibly for dessert tonight. I’ve already been snacking on them all day – I’ve probably had two servings, total. Actually, I don’t even know what a serving is. I’ve had a lot, let’s put it that way.

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