On Thursday, Chris decided to take advantage of the fact that I recently turned 25 and am therefore apparently a good enough driver to rent a car.
I am not.
I had to go pick up the car, bring it back to our apartment, load up our bags, Jack, and about 42 bones, treats and toys, and then pick up Chris, who was meeting me on Canal Street, which leads to the Holland Tunnel and eventually New Jersey.
Easy enough, and by 5:15, I’m on my way and doing pretty good. I’ve only been honked at four times by the time I hit the bridge into the city, which might be a record. I get off the bridge, hands at ten and two, knuckles white, head onto Canal Street and all of a sudden – I’m back on the bridge.
Yes. Jack and I are on our way back into Brooklyn. So I have to call Chris and tell him that somehow I went in a circle, and then I have to find the perfect combination of one-way streets that will allow me to turn around and get back on the bridge (for the third time, if you haven’t been counting) and then I have to figure out what the hell I did wrong so I don’t make the same mistake again.
Don’t worry. I didn’t. I did, however, freak out once I was finally on Canal, because I thought I passed the corner where he was waiting. I wasn’t mentally stable enough to turn around, so I called him and said, “I am stopping, I am pulling over, and you better come find me.”
He was thrilled, as you can imagine.
And then, after he finally found me, and we somehow made it through the tunnel despite the fact that I was still driving, this happened:
It was harder than it looks, so don’t go thinking that I’m a wussy.
For some reason, we’ll call it a hangover, he wanted me to drive again yesterday on our way home. But I took an exit ramp curve a little too fast, hopped a curb at the gas station, and then proceeded to give myself a small gas shower at the pump. That took care of that.
All in all, we spent about 15 hours in the car this weekend, so many snacks were consumed. I tried to catch most of them.
On the way there, we shared a bag of trail mix:
Then we stopped at Wawa for dinner (classy, I know) and I got melon and a junior veggie sub:
On the way home yesterday, we went to Dairy Queen. Have I mentioned that I was a cone artist in high school? Because I was. We don’t have Dairy Queen at home, so I have to take the opportunity to reminisce when I have the chance. I got a small cappuccino heath blizzard.
And then we had some cheese and crackers that my mom gave us:
We also stopped at Wawa again, but I got the exact same thing. And that’s about it. I’m sure I missed some things, but I can’t remember them, so they didn’t happen. Now I have a bunch of work to do since I was off on Friday. I also have to return the car this morning, so wish me luck with that. I’ll need it.
OH – and thank you for all the comments for the cookbook contest!! I haven’t had a chance to really read them all, but I will today and I’ll pick a winner tomorrow. You can still leave comments until then.
Chivalry is dead.
I cannot believe he made you do all the hard driving.
I’m so disappointed in him.
Gas showers suck. When it happens to me I just stand there;
“Did that REALLY just happen?”
haha, FUNNY story! I just found your blog and love it – I find myself laughing out loud (literally, not just the old LOL thing) every post!
oh man… quite the amazing post. i really wish i’d witnessed the whole “jumping the curb and busting into a gas station” incident. chris should be grateful that you saved him the 30 seconds it would have taken to stop at a stop sign and turn into the gas station properly. i mean, clearly you were only thinking of him.
also, i love dairy queen. why isn’t it in cities??
4 honks?? That’d a record for me too. People honk me way too much, and that stresses me out, and then I do some stupd things that make people honk at me more and it’s a vicious circle.
4 honks is nothing. You’re doing great. And it just wouldn’t be a proper roadtrip without a few circling incidents or a gas shower, now would it?
No worries – I commend you for doing all that driving!! I get lost so easily, and I panic, so I only stick to “local trips” when driving ;0)
A cone artist, eh?? Interesting!
I love cheese and crackers!
Just for the record: I did about 90% of the driving, thank you very much.
I HEART DAIRY QUEEN!! especially their blizzards, omg, so good. it’s why I’m a vegetarian and not a vegan.
The driving would have freaked me out too
although I dont even have my permit, so thats understandable. Good luck returning it!!
Such a funny story. I am glad you and Chris made it back in one piece. Please get to an from the car rental place safely – I couldn’t live without Couch Cubicle posts.
90% of the driving isn’t enough for me. I make my fiance drive alllll the time so that he doesn’t get mad at me when i jump the curb/almost get into a zillion accidents/have panic attacks during rush hour ha.
but I am a good driver, I swear
I jumped the curb on my first day of driver’s ed. I popped the tire. So…I’m saying things could’ve been worse, there could’ve been a flat tire. There could have been a flat tire on the bridge!
OK, I totally would have done the same thing…which is exactly why I don’t drive in Chicago. Also, I have been reading yours and your boyfriend’s blogs for like two weeks…except I’m kind of an idiot and did not realize that each of you was the one the other was referencing. Like, I said, I’m kind of an idiot. Anyway, with that said, I think now that Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have broken up, you two are the funniest couple on the planet.
Kristen –
I know!! Usually I never have to drive and I sleep the whole way so I can arrive refreshed because I am a lady. This trip sucked.
Rachel –
I’m just glad it’s happened to someone else. It had never happened to me before (and I did drive for a number of years) and I felt dumb.
Melissa –
Thanks!!
Anne -
I know. He does like to get home as early as possible to miss the traffic.
Andy –
I know! Don’t they know that the honking just makes me nervous and when I’m nervous I run red lights?
Linds –
I guess not.
VG –
It was interesting. And tasty.
Foodie –
Me too.
Chris –
That, my friend, is 10% less than you should’ve done.
Chandra –
Me too. It’s amazing. I always panic because I can’t even decide what kind of blizzard to get.
EBF –
Aw, thanks.
Rhodeygirl –
I am with you. It’s a good thing we don’t live in the same place, we’d probably run into each other.
Meg –
Thank you for putting things into perspective for me. You’re absolutely right.
Heather –
You are the nicest person on the planet. I read this comment out loud to Chris, except I took the liberty of adding “But you’re funnier than him” at the end. Hope that’s okay.
DAAAIIRRYYY QQUUEEEEENNN <333
Once my mind says DQ (or my pms) HFCS no longer exists
And I’m sticking to that rule! 